https://www.drselmamusic-psychology.com/online-therapy-blog daily 0.75 2025-08-16 https://www.drselmamusic-psychology.com/online-therapy-blog/sitting-with-your-emotions-the-neuroscience-of-emotional-safety-trauma-recovery monthly 0.5 2025-08-15 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/ba765e9e-9bce-49a5-9e26-ecde7728424a/kay%2C+but+what+does+%E2%80%98feeling+your+feelings%E2%80%99+even+mean+to+you%3F Therapy - What does “sitting with my emotion” even mean… neuroscientifically? - I laughed and asked, “Okay, but what does ‘feeling your feelings’ even mean to you?” Cue the eye-rolls. And, there were were many! That’s when I kinda realised: Most people have heard the phrase, but they don’t actually know what it means. Or why it matters. Honestly… this might have to be a series. So, buckle up. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/ed85d3f8-9d1a-4cf9-9a0c-bade106008af/When+someone+says+%E2%80%9Csit+with+your+emotions%2C%E2%80%9D+I+get+the+eye-rolls.+It+sounds+like+vague%2C+fluffy%2C+Instagram+advice.+But+neuroscience+actually+gives+it+a+more+solid+definition. Therapy - What does “sitting with my emotion” even mean… neuroscientifically? - “Sitting with your emotions” means staying with a feeling long enough for your brain to: • Recognise it • Regulate it • And eventually integrate it BUT, it’s not just “feeling things.” It’s a full-body, full-brain experience of staying present, on purpose. Let me break it down. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/bd355f9d-34f8-426e-9fa4-8a8cbaadbf81/Brain_PFC_Amygdala.png Therapy - What does “sitting with my emotion” even mean… neuroscientifically? - You’re bringing the prefrontal cortex back online The prefrontal cortex which is the part of your brain that helps you reflect, use words, and self-soothe gets shut down when your amygdala is working too hard (as described above). That means: • You can’t think clearly • You can’t calm yourself easily • You feel like you’re all emotion, no anchor And if you have a trauma history, this gets even trickier. Your brain’s neuroception (your internal threat radar) can misread emotions like sadness or vulnerability as dangerous even when there’s no real danger in the present. When you name the emotion (even something as simple as “part of me feels sad”), you activate your prefrontal cortex, especially the ventromedial part. This part of the brain: Helps regulate the amygdala Supports impulse control (e.g., not texting your ex or rage-quitting work… true story, both happened!) Allows reflection (e.g., “I’ve felt like this before and I got through it”) It’s like bringing in a calm, wise adult part of yourself and one who can say, “I can handle this.” https://www.drselmamusic-psychology.com/online-therapy-blog/blog-post-title-four-j44th-m2we6 monthly 0.5 2025-08-16 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/a312e17a-903f-4834-a50f-53dcb4285ba7/MKM-20231009-100538_0005.jpg Therapy - Why would you tell a stranger our problems? - And this is stigma. The reason isn’t that the person don’t care about their mental health. In fact, they often care deeply. They’ve thought about making changes, maybe even dreamed about what life could look like if the heavy backpack of life trauma and stress they’re carrying was lighter. But something holds them back. And more often than not, that “something” is the people in their lives. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/f8d594bc-1483-4871-9a9e-b167d1e6a347/man.jpg Therapy - Why would you tell a stranger our problems? - Make it stand out How many years have been lost to silence, shame, and stigma? https://www.drselmamusic-psychology.com/online-therapy-blog/blog-post-title-four-j44th monthly 0.5 2025-08-16 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/a0ae831a-86fd-44e0-bc9f-ff55658d8b1a/aang-irawan-cCkC3EDXHcA-unsplash.jpg Therapy - I AM ESTRANGED FROM MY FAMILY BY CHOICE - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/1708654593363-2HME5D1ZBXBAEHWGZ0AH/hoi-an-photographer-AILAeiIBrBg-unsplash.jpg Therapy - I AM ESTRANGED FROM MY FAMILY BY CHOICE - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.drselmamusic-psychology.com/online-therapy-blog/category/Adult+Children+of+Migrants monthly 0.5 https://www.drselmamusic-psychology.com/online-therapy-blog/category/Online+Therapy monthly 0.5 https://www.drselmamusic-psychology.com/online-therapy-blog/category/Workplace monthly 0.5 https://www.drselmamusic-psychology.com/online-therapy-blog/category/Trauma monthly 0.5 https://www.drselmamusic-psychology.com/adult-children-of-migrants daily 0.75 2025-09-10 https://www.drselmamusic-psychology.com/trauma daily 0.75 2026-01-26 https://www.drselmamusic-psychology.com/toolkit-blog daily 0.75 2025-08-28 https://www.drselmamusic-psychology.com/toolkit-blog/why-the-5-4-3-2-1-grounding-technique-works-at-least-according-to-neuroscience monthly 0.5 2025-07-23 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/52a1ae20-5617-467c-bdb6-f887a56f7a45/anthony-tran-i-ePv9Dxg7U-unsplash.jpg Toolkit - Why the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique Works, At Least According to Neuroscience - I use it often with people I work with who are experiencing emotional overload or feeling detached from their bodies. And because it’s quick and portable, it becomes something they can rely on outside of the therapy space too. You know, a grounding tool they can actually use in the real world when things get hard. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/ebd70869-8444-448a-8987-9af1203bfd2a/5.png Toolkit - Why the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique Works, At Least According to Neuroscience When you’re anxious, stressed, or triggered, your nervous system activates the sympathetic branch (the part responsible for fight, flight, freeze, appease, flop) responses. Your amygdala (the brain’s threat detector) fires up, scanning for danger, while the prefrontal cortex (responsible for rational thinking and planning) takes a back seat. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/e823f909-2455-40a3-b5ff-40961c502ba8/Green+Minimalist+Fashion+Photo+Collage+Instagram+Post2.png Toolkit - Why the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique Works, At Least According to Neuroscience At its heart, this technique uses your five senses to gently interrupt the brain’s fear response and anchor your attention to what’s real and happening right now. The neuroscience term for this is bottom-up regulation. Instead of using your mind to try and think your way out of distress (which rarely works when you’re flooded), you use sensory input to send signals of safety to your brain. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/efb0dae3-75ca-4e90-91d2-20763078b5a1/solstice-hannan-6g2baTibNVo-unsplash.jpg Toolkit - Why the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique Works, At Least According to Neuroscience - How it works The method is straightforward. Wherever you are, pause and slowly go through the following steps: 5 things you can see – Look around. Name five things. The texture of the couch, a speck of dust in the sunlight, a tree swaying outside. Be specific. 4 things you can feel – Bring your attention to touch. Your feet on the ground, your jumper on your arms, the cool air on your face. 3 things you can hear – Notice external sounds. A bird outside. The hum of your fridge. The ticking of a clock. 2 things you can smell – You might need to move for this one. Notice the smell of coffee, your shampoo, fresh laundry. 1 thing you can taste – Maybe there’s still the taste of toothpaste. Or tea. Or simply notice the absence of taste. https://www.drselmamusic-psychology.com/toolkit-blog/why-progressive-muscle-relaxation-works-at-least-according-to-neuroscience monthly 0.5 2025-07-22 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/63c3511c-b6fe-4cb0-ac45-aa36990f60b2/Green+Minimalist+Fashion+Photo+Collage+Instagram+Post2.png Toolkit - Why Progressive Muscle Relaxation Works (at least according to neuroscience) - Now, here’s what I know about the people I usually work with: They have strong, thoughtful, intellectualising parts. So do I, and that’s probably part of why we work well together. And what that means is, we don’t try something because someone says it might help. We want to understand it. We want to know the why behind it. The science. The mechanisms. The reason it matters. Because when we understand what’s happening under the surface, we are more likely to actually do it. And to come back to it consistently. Not only when we are already burnt out or overwhelmed, but as a steady and supportive part of how we take care of ourselves. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/90a2fe64-d98a-4423-909d-45b1da5dc988/the+body+map+of+my+anxious+part Toolkit - Why Progressive Muscle Relaxation Works (at least according to neuroscience) - The Body Map of Our Anxious Part I use the driver’s seat analogy to explain it. Imagine different parts of you taking turns driving the car. When the stress part is in the driver’s seat, it’s calling the shots, and your body follows its lead. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/608f5195-8ca8-4d3c-944b-b7a334746caa/the+prefrontal+cortex+and+amygdala+work+together Toolkit - Why Progressive Muscle Relaxation Works (at least according to neuroscience) - 2. It helps calm the emotional centres of the brain Stress and anxiety mostly live in the amygdala, a small almond-shaped part of the brain that acts as your internal alarm system. It scans for danger and triggers the stress response. PMR sends soothing signals from your body to your brain. This helps regulate the amygdala, and over time may reduce its overall reactivity. It may also support the development of a wider window of tolerance and a greater sense of emotional steadiness. PMR is also linked with lower levels of cortisol, one of the main stress hormones. When cortisol levels decrease, the brain may be better protected from the long-term impacts of stress, including sleep issues, burnout and difficulty concentrating. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6465a6322b8cb16a7db61f40/1b0123ae-ecb9-4bc3-9f82-583594ecf3df/7.png Toolkit - Why Progressive Muscle Relaxation Works (at least according to neuroscience) - 5. It supports your brain’s ability to manage stress Like anything else, relaxation is something the brain can learn (just like archery, basketball, dance). The more you practise PMR, the easier it becomes to return to a relaxed state, even when things are stressful. Repetition builds new neural pathways. Over time, the prefrontal cortex (which helps you regulate emotions and make decisions) becomes stronger, and the amygdala becomes less reactive. This can help increase your ability to respond to life with more calm, clarity and capacity. 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